On the ponying up of Nubian buttocks: a 10th grade essay by basdsbuttocks

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 05:09:47 GMT

What does it mean to pony up with one's Nubian buttocks? To analyze this we must first consider the individual words which comprise this sentence. The OED defines the word pony as a noun to be a small horse and as a verb to mean "studying with the aid of a pony." Neither of these meanings is what is intended when the request to pony up with one's buttocks is made. "Pony up" is a colloquialism meaning to pay. Hence the sentence "pony up with the Nubian buttocks" can be read as "Pay with the Nubian buttocks." Thus we see that some form of payment is due and, moreover, the only valid currency in this case is Nubian buttocks. We note that the buttocks must be Nubian and if one were to instead try to pony up with non-Nubian buttocks the result would be tantamount to fraud. Consequently, it is vital that one understands what it means for buttocks to be Nubian if one is asked to "pony up with the Nubian buttocks." It should be noted, however, that it is possible for a person to not know what Nubian buttocks are and yet happen to have buttocks, which in addition to being buttocks are also Nubian. This is evidenced by the following conversation:

Man #1: Pony up with the Nubian buttocks.

Man #2: Alas, I do not have Nubian buttocks. I do have buttocks, however.

Man #1: Well, I really had my heart set on Nubian buttocks, but if I cannot have Nubian buttocks then I suppose I can settle for non-Nubian buttocks.

Man #2: Fair enough, and let me apologize in advance for the non-Nubian nature of my buttocks. (Man #2 then ponies up with his buttocks.)

Man #1: Hey! I believe that those buttocks which you just ponied up with share many characteristics with buttocks from the region of Nubia.

Man #2: Interesting, I was unaware of this, not having examined my buttocks and not knowing the meaning of the word Nubian.

Man #1: Let me consult an expert.

Nubian buttock expert: With the aid of a magnifying glass and several years of education at ivy league schools I can say without a doubt that these buttocks are not a forgery and are indeed Nubian buttocks.

Man #1: Great!

Wikipedia says about Nubia: "Today Nubia is the region in the south of Egypt, along the Nile and in northern Sudan, but in ancient times it was an independent kingdom." Thus Nubian buttocks possess characteristics of buttocks from southern Egypt. This does not imply that Nubian buttocks are black. Indeed, many noteworthy caucasians--Eminem being the most famous example--have Nubian buttocks, claiming that having Nubian buttocks is really a state of mind.